Nobody told me

Fuck the rules! They dont really matter when you're in the real world.

Im furious to even think about it! It gets me right in the ass to think about what Im taught about! Dont FUCK someone if you haven't tied the knots yet! What the hell is that? That's not how it is out here! I mean, come on! How do I know they haven't eaten what they're teaching? Remeniscing those classes I've had in college, the words i hear from the folks, it is so clear in my head now. Its in every corner of my head.I want to punch those fucking assholes right in the face for teaching me what doesn't exist in the real world! For all I know they dont have the lessons they themselves are teaching.

I feel the rage inside! Im dilirious right now! Nobody told me how LIFE really is. Its a shame to follow what seemed to be right. Right now, I feel such an idiot believing life is lived that way. It runs in my veins now. It made me such a scarty-cat and ignorant of the basic human need. I thought I know. I hate it that no one ever gotten intouched with me. After all those high-school and college years, no one told me about it. I would have known what to do now. I wouldn't have been confused. No one's ever told me about it. None of my parents mentioned about it. I mean, ofcourse they've told me the whole "tie-the-knots-first" and i know now that its not just about it. I didn't even have the hint of my friends gotten laid already. I mean, it was a slap on my face. After all the confusions and the pressure and the skyrocketting thoughts of conscience before gotten laid for the first time, it was just me. It was me all along. It wasn't what I really thought it was. The pretentious aura, the phony tales. I was so stupid to believe what's on the surface. It made me realize that things aren't really what I thought they are. That there's more than just what the eye can see.
But I've lived all my years, since life started to makes sense, with what I believe is right. Its hard to get it out of my system now. Its fucking hard to deal with it. And to "When" and "How" im going to snap out of it? Who the hell knows?

Im waiting for the time where I can just let myself go with the rythm. I cant wait for that time when I will just stop thinking, keep drinking, and start fucking. LOL. What a funny thing to say when you're all furious about it.