I stopped after a while looking for "that guy" and found something else. I found friends. A friend at first but two became three- Chloe and I and then Steffi! The times went so fast but it was allllllll GOOD! ThE TIME SPENT WITH THESE FRIENDS OF MINE WAS ALL WORTH THE pukes, the meal-less weekends, sleepless nights, worse, the sleepless weekends. Now they started to go their own way. I was into this world with them and Im starting to think I have to go my own way as well. When I realized this, the stillness of life I felt while living this world was shattered. I cant really deal with changes that well.. I thought I am better than anyone else, but Im wrong. Im scared to go my own way. But I have to deal with it, like everyone else.
I wanted to try to go my own way while I still have an outlet left with me, so I did. I started dating again.
I went out with this guy from the city, which is 20 mins away from where Im at. It was fine on our first day, the succeeding days, didnt feel good anymore.. I asked myself "do I really like this guy?" I cant even tell. I tried to make it work but it just doesn't feel good being with him. It didn't happen just with him.. It happened all the time. I thought I like the guy but would realize soon I really dont.
The guy I mentioned earlier, his name is BRIAN. I met him last year. He was the only guy I wanted to waste my time trying-to-meet with. But we couldn't beat the odds.. There was no way we could meet again. I stopped after a while of trying but I waited for time. I was trying to get a hold of him and it was last week when we heard from each other again. And since then, I have been longing to be with him again. With my friends leaving, I realized I just needed someone I really like and I really feel good hanging out with. Im not sure If he feels the same way as I do to him, but I will take the risk finding the answer to this. Even if It means throwing myself to the pain every girls' trying to run away from, I will go through it and find it out myself. I wanted to know how it would work with a guy I long to be with for me. If It still doesn't work, Im done looking.. I'll wait..
My beloved boar friends!!!
This is Brian and his dog Bruno
WHEEEEEW!!!!! HE IS HOT!!!!! WHEEWW!!!
1 comment:
brian is worth 'taking the risk' especially on his third pic!hahaha hot. first time i saw that pic of his.
we all get scared of going our own way, and i think that's normal. sometimes there's just no other choice but to deal with things we cannot change.
miss you!
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