His name is Brian

Its been more than a year since I started dating... Im 23 yrs old when i started- It may sound fucked up to some people not having one relationship yet, not to mention not having the pleasure at this age.. I always felt I am way too slow for this and too dumb for all this shit- I dont know anything about anything. After all those tries and guys I went out with, none made me felt the urge to be with, except for one....or two...
I stopped after a while looking for "that guy" and found something else. I found friends. A friend at first but two became three- Chloe and I and then Steffi! The times went so fast but it was allllllll GOOD! ThE TIME SPENT WITH THESE FRIENDS OF MINE WAS ALL WORTH THE pukes, the meal-less weekends, sleepless nights, worse, the sleepless weekends. Now they started to go their own way. I was into this world with them and Im starting to think I have to go my own way as well. When I realized this, the stillness of life I felt while living this world was shattered. I cant really deal with changes that well.. I thought I am better than anyone else, but Im wrong. Im scared to go my own way. But I have to deal with it, like everyone else.
I wanted to try to go my own way while I still have an outlet left with me, so I did. I started dating again.
I went out with this guy from the city, which is 20 mins away from where Im at. It was fine on our first day, the succeeding days, didnt feel good anymore.. I asked myself "do I really like this guy?" I cant even tell. I tried to make it work but it just doesn't feel good being with him. It didn't happen just with him.. It happened all the time. I thought I like the guy but would realize soon I really dont.
The guy I mentioned earlier, his name is BRIAN. I met him last year. He was the only guy I wanted to waste my time trying-to-meet with. But we couldn't beat the odds.. There was no way we could meet again. I stopped after a while of trying but I waited for time. I was trying to get a hold of him and it was last week when we heard from each other again. And since then, I have been longing to be with him again. With my friends leaving, I realized I just needed someone I really like and I really feel good hanging out with. Im not sure If he feels the same way as I do to him, but I will take the risk finding the answer to this. Even if It means throwing myself to the pain every girls' trying to run away from, I will go through it and find it out myself. I wanted to know how it would work with a guy I long to be with for me. If It still doesn't work, Im done looking.. I'll wait..


My beloved boar friends!!!

This is Brian and his dog Bruno
WHEEEEEW!!!!! HE IS HOT!!!!! WHEEWW!!!

See you soon Steffi Boar!!

This is it!! Steffi from Germany is on her way back home.


Things have started to change among the three of us. The closer the time separates us the deeper friendship grows.. Steffi was always the control freak..Hehe!! while Chloe and I are the freaks out of control.. Well, not always..sometimes not.... yah knowww!!! Steffi always stop us from doing something crazy even if she doesnt literally stop us.. She has become a part of us that holds our inner senses if we lose track of our awareness-kind'f-senses.. Right Chloe?


Steffi, u are such a quiet Boar!!! But we know you already (anymore, yet, again), so we always say to people "she only talks to the boars" & "she's talks when she's drunk, and she's funny when she talks drunk"



"The last time I'd get to see you and embrace you is at the train last night. It wasn't the best place in the world to say farewell, but Im going to remember it forever. And Im really positive i will see you again..soon.... AMSTERDAM if not in LONDON.... LONDON is too soon.. Im really jealous Chloe and you live close to each other compared to me. But im not gonna let my upset mind stop me from thinking of seeing you again soon.. I will make it happen!!"


Here are the last exciting moments we had with Steffi here in the US:

The FUGLY and The FUGLY:

Foxi MOVE!!!

Our present to steffi!! Its awesome!!!Steffi boar moveJust before the puke duet!!! HEhehe!

You are fucking weird Steffi but what the hell, WE LOVE YOU!!!! The BOAR WORLD is not the same w/out you!

See you again soon Steffi Boar!!!

Its my BIG DAY today!!!

The night before my birthday!!! They fucking surprised me!

I was playing tennis with Atul and then after the game, Atul brought me to his apartment.. I was starting to feel that my night is going to suck coz I know what's gonna happen there.. Not knowing these boars tagged Atul with there plan to surprise me. Well, they didnt have a choice.. I was with him that night.

I was happpy to see them that night.. I wasnt expecting to see them anytime on weekdays but on the weekend..

ITS TIME!!!!! IM OFFICIALLY 24 YEARS YOUNG!!!
Cheers!!!

AND THIS IS DURING MY BIRTHDAY!! I was out for school.. We had a 15 mins. break so I went out to smoke... And then another sort of surprise unfolded before my eyes as I saw two very familiar faces walking towards me.. It didnt register for a few minutes who they were.. And when it came to my senses, I was like " WHAT THE FUCK? WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU GUYS DOING HERE?" It was Chloe and Steffi!!! They greeted me by saying "Get your bag in your room. We are taking you out!"

And here I go..... I did cut my class that night.. I lied to my teacher.. I said there's an emergency at home..Hehe!! My teacher doesnt seem to care!

Ang Candy nyeto ug ang DILDO!! I call it - Mr. Silly!SUSHI ON THE TABLE!!!!Whine ofcourse for the drinks...

And hit the bar ofcourse for dessert!!! @",)*YEAAHP!!! Its all over my face.. I am already under the influence of something.... And happiness!!

I AM HAPPY ON MY BIG DAY!!!

Another Weekend of Wandering & Spontaneuity

I've seen two movies this weekend....again... Friday, the "Dont Mess with the Zohan" came out in theaters.. We've waited for this movie to come out, and friday night was the night to finally watch it. It was a good movie! Its hysterically funny! But i laughed more w/ "Harold and Kumar (Escape from Guantanama Bay)"... Its good. Its good. Its good!

My boars were sick this week so we didn't really expect anything to happen this weekend.. Well, they turned out to be FINE on saturday, so we planned to do something right on! We went to Kelly Drive saturday noon. Spent time to just sit down and have a picnic right beside the schuykill river next to the city. Its a hot and humid day but didn't stop us from getting out and do our boar thing.. I had to be back for Shayna's birthday dinner around 5pm so we didn't stay for long there. After we left Kelly Drive, they dropped me off at the habachi restaurant and waited for me to be done with dinner at Wynnewood shopping center. Shayna wanted to have her dessert at Maggie Moose, w/c happened to be where Chloe and Steffi are at.. So we had our ice cream there.. My hostfamily and my boars were there so its all good! It was fun though!! Jim treat us for ice cream so it was great! We didn't have to pay for our own ice cream.

I left w/ Chloe and Steffi from the ice cream place. Went to see Atul at his carwash but then he's out of reach so we decided to watch another movie. We waited for our showtime, so we grabbed some drinks at Great American Pub right next to the movie theater. Got our shots, then we headed to see "Kung Fu Panda". The movie was okay.. Some scenes of the movie was funny but I was sleepy when i watched it so, I wasn't that motivated to laugh much.. After the movie we crashed at my place- The Jewish Hotel. It was good! We had our laughs before we finally doze-off...

Sunday, we went to the beach! Left the house at around 10am, and it took us just an hour to get to Avalon & Stone Harbor. We are good drivers! Well, Chloe was driving but we followed our instincts along w/ our directions to get there w/o getting lost! We are the PATHFINDERS. We are good that way...Hehehehe!!! We spent the rest of the afternoon at the beach. Not in Avalon though.. There is a fee to go to the beach there so we looked for another beach nearby coz we didn't want to pay.. The people said its free in Wildwood Beach so, we end up swimming there. It was soooo HOT under the sun but the water was cold so its all good! It was great actually..
Steffi has to be home by six so we left the beach at 4:45. After dropping Steffi home, we headed to the mall area in Exton. I was trying to find an SD card for my mp4 but everything was already closed when we got there so we headed to a little park in front of the Exton Mall, while waiting for Steffi to be done w/ a little bit of work. Right then and on we planned to have a barbecue for dinner, so we were trying to make it happen. At first it didn't seem like to happen coz of some sort'f difficulties in putting a fire on the grill. But we're pretty much equiped in terms of nature, some sort'f weird skills and motivation to make it happen. So we got through that whole scene, and munch ourselves w/ a yummy dinner... It was great!! It was a filling dinner!
And finally, the usual ending, Chloe dropped me off at the train station in Malvern. I had to catch the last trip so I had to be there before 10:30, otherwise I'll sweat myself to walk home. @",)*

We had a great meal, and ofcourse we did not miss our dessert! Angel food cake! We had it on the way to the train station....

That's it! That's how our weekend was like! Its fun, everything just happened spontaneuosly..

I LIKE IT LIKE THAT!!!

We are at GAP having a drink while waiting for the movie..

Mess at the Jewish HOTEL-my room. Not really a mess..

Finally at the beach in Jersey! Finally got to lay down after moving from one beach to the other.

Im cheating..Its boiling hot u know!?!HHHMMMMMM!!! GUYS!!!
Steffi!!! HAHA!! GOT YAH!!! You are already late for work dude...better sleep than worry right? That's good! That's GOOD!!!Barbecue sunset!! @",)*

Try

Its funny when i trace back time. The being I was before is still here. Nothing has changed. Things around me may have changed, Im still what I am inside. I may have done things that not in a million years i would even think of doing before, it doesn't change who I am. .

I remember when i was still a kid. I always see my dad smoke. I stole one stick of cigarette and stay at the back of our house and lit it up. I wanted to know how it feels. And the only way to know is to try.. And looking into my life now, I have done a lot of things because I wanted to try and see how it feels. I wanted to learn it myself and see it through. The feeling of wanting to try the cigarette is the same exact feeling i have right now into trying new things. And what pushes me to do it is to kill curiosity and put in the knowledge that comes with it. And once i get the knowledge I am in control of the urge.


I am fortunate I had the gift to see things from the top. I have learned to ramify myself. I could detach myself from life's predicament and find how things are going to work out whatever choices I got in my hands. Its not easy as it sounds. And it has never been easy to make decisions, especially when you have outside factors that you would have to consider. Well, what in life doesn't have a "BUT"? Whatever choices we make, there is always a "BUT". We just gotta learn how to deal with the imperfections of life. Be aware of yourself - of what you CAN and NOT do, and of what makes u happy (coz what matters to you matters)- and be honest to urself and you'll learn to sort things out. There is always a way.

This point of my life, i have made huge decisions out of the things that matters to me, and what makes me happy.. There's always this thing in me that questions if I have made the right choices in life. And the decisions I made now, reminded me of my childhood. I wanted to experience and feel how its like to live a life on my own. I wanted to try it out and see it through. It all fits in back then. That's how I know I am making the right decisions for myself.

It was in me before, still in me now, and always will be...

CONQUERING THE HEIGHTS!!!

On our way to the Poconos!

Got lost and made a lot of wrong turns but we got to the place finally!!! Clueless of how it is up there, we have mixed emotions! Some are scared, anxious, and confused! The Ostrich is growing in the tummy makes me wanna........u know........

FUGLY!!! WAITING FOR OUR PLANE TO COME DOWN!!!
SOUL he's my jumping partner!!! I was saying "Im a dude and he's my dude"
Reviewing the instructions before taking off!!
Few seconds before the take off!!!
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!!! The first few seconds of free falling was intense!! BUt it was amazing!!! Cant breathe for a few seconds but when you pass through it, the fun starts to set in!!! IM FREE!!!! FREE FALLING!!! Cant explain the body rush here!!! Not the sex kinda rush (its always buch better than the free fall rush).

That's me!! that's me!!! hehehe!!! Its amazing up here!!! The air brushing your entire face is the coolest and the healthiest air i have ever breathed-in my entire life.

"I like it like that!!" This is what it feels like to fly!!! I know now!!!Now the pose has to start! But as it goes, the fuglier it gets..Hehehe!!! But MARVELOUS!!!I cant stop talking! Well, i was actually yelling!!!"Its awesome!!!! Its great!!! WHOOOOOOOOH!!"